.

2 months :)

one month :)

i passed out in jenkin's room 12th period today, hahahaahah
i didnt even know what happened, everyone was freaking out
according to sara i landed on like my head :(
i have the worst headache noww

 it's sad that you're the closest friend i have...more than friend...i have and yet you treat me the worst out of everyone. oh but im sure its just cause you're feelings change every week like you say...or maybe its cause i stress you out by not trusting you...or maybe its because of how jealous i get...uh no, bullshit. << that's what id like to say to you...but instead ill say...it's fine, i dont care. i love you and no matter what you do, that'll never change. do whatever you want cause i know under all your other crushes im the one you really love. and you'll just agree. then ill be good for about an hour...then be right back to where i started. worried/stressed/upset/nervous...and i do do it to myself but i mean god...have some sympathy once in a while.  no relationship can be one sided. but you know ... as much as i complain and get upset about it, there is a part of me that's happy that we're together. a big part. i just wish you'd care once in a while. i do not think that's to much to ask.  im sorry. 

you annoy the hell out of me. you're so clueless as to what's going on . you think you know... you really do but you dont. i think it's hilarious but i also feel bad. i think you're the most unattractive person ive come across in a long time, sorry. you never know when to stop. you know who's rubbing off on you. i can tell you're becoming obssessed like i was...but whatever go ahead...it wont work out. you're finding that out the hard way though. trust me...ive been there.  i hate you  


i probably see you the most out of everyone. im always happy when im with you. i never have a thing to complain about...you can be annoying at times. i really wish you didnt want to be more than friends. you're my bestfriend and i cant change the way i feel...no matter what you say or do. and you know that. im sorry. i wish you would wear tighter clothes. ahh hahah 


i love everything about you. i love being with you. i love your interests . i love you in general. i can tell you anything and everything. we're closer than most people know or think. i know more about you than anyone. you're probably the only one who's ever seen the other side of me. we've been everywhere. to florida and back. im glad you live in walking distance. i think you're so cute. which is weird. sometimes you can be a real jerk, hah. 


 ive had a thing for you since like...7th grade. that no one knows about. no ones going to guess this one. ah haha 


i have the biggest crush on you. it's ridiculous how attracted i am to you. we've hungout a few times. ive told you alot more about myself than i ever thought i would. i enjoy talking to you. you know my whole "situation". ive been missing you lately. we have alot of the same interests. i love your laugh...weird? yes, ah ha. i wish we were closer but even though we arent i still appreciate you the most out of everyone, at least now i do.  i wish you didnt make me so nervous. i wish everything i say didnt sound soo stupid !  


i secretly think you're the most attractive person ive ever known. i disagree with almost everything everyone says or thinks about you. we dont talk too much. we dont hangout. i barely see you. it wont turn into anything, although i wish it would :) 


i can honestly say you're the only person i can fully trust, with everything. i wish you didnt live soo far away. wish i could see you more. it kills me when we dont talk, even though im usually the cause of that. i care about you more than you think. i hope you know i never intend to do the things i do. i love hanging out with you...even if we do just drive around or sit in your car ;). i miss youu so much.  ,

i do not understand how you can be so indifferent and rude. id like to be you for a day...just to see what's going through you're head when you do these things to me. you really just dont care sometimes and it kills me  

ingrid michaelson tomorrow!!!
im pretty excited 

i love this weather
i miss you

ive never felt this terrible

i am now grounded from my cell phone through the week. along with my computer but for some reason im allowed on now. and im only allowed out on weekends. all because of my grades...which arent even that terrible. ugh ! im sooo angry right now. i had to stay after school today for band. mr.galvin told us practice was over at 4:00 and it ended at 3:20. so i had to sit and do absolutely nothing for about an hour and a half because my mom was late. ergh! and i have no idea how im getting to the concert tomorrow night. im in such a bad mood...i have been for quite some time. :/ since i cant go anywhere and i have no way to get ahold of anyone...i think ill just sleep.



I know im lazy with the little things, i mean i never held a door. But i still loved you more than anyone since or before. You are always saying that i owe you one, well, let's consolidate this debt. Get on a payment plan, ill pay you compliments, you can still treat me bad...

i miss us soo much.

im moving.

i wish i was happy
the end.